


Reflection

by TheBearMuse



Series: Allison Hawke [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBearMuse/pseuds/TheBearMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison Hawke finds herself forced to cope with some of her greatest troubles when she ends up physically in the Fade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflection

_Andraste's ass!_ Allison swore internally as she felt a familiar trickle of blood drip out of her nose. _Of **course** physically being in the Fade would set off my nose. Why **wouldn't** it do that?_ She awkwardly pinned her staff under her arm as she simultaneously pinched her nose shut and pulled a handkerchief out of her leather pouch. It was a good thing she'd had so many years of practice juggling her equipment or Allison might not have been able to pull off such a balancing act. Unfortunately, said feat also required her to stop moving. Allison needed to get things under control before the others unwittingly moved on without her. It had been so long since she'd fought alongside people who didn't know about her chronic nosebleeds. Not even Stroud knew. Things would be much simpler if they continued not knowing.

Once Allison had her handkerchief in place, she wiggled her fingers to cast a healing spell. Nothing happened. She sighed and tried again. Blood continued to seep into her handkerchief. Her heart sank. Allison had never been very good at healing to begin with. It seemed she was completely incapable of casting such spells after enduring the sustained intensity of battle for so long. She wouldn't take back what she'd done to help the Inquisition's soldiers on the battlements for anything, but being too drained of energy to stop her nose from bleeding was...well, bad. _A pathetic apostate so weak that she's liable to bleed out on the field of battle without ever having been touched._ That was the one downside of no longer using her blood as a component of her skills: she couldn't pretend her nosebleeds were anything other than a detriment anymore.

Allison exhaled her frustration slowly and closed her eyes. Sebastian's face appeared in her mind. She focused on every contour of his face and the love in his eyes. She had to be stronger to make it back to him. Allison tried again to heal herself, but a small burst of ice came out of her fingers instead. _Well, that's something, anyway._ She used the melting ice to clean herself up a bit, but it wasn't nearly enough to stop the still-flowing blood.

"Bruised, battered, bleeding - weary but not wounded." A soft voice came from her right. It was the strange blond boy with the floppy hat. Allison had been leery of Cole once she learned he was a spirit. She'd met Justice and wasn't completely convinced Cole wouldn't end up like him. "You don't need to hide the blood. You're afraid it's a weakness, but it's not. It's part of who you are."

Tears welled up unbidden in Allison's eyes. She pinched her nose harder through the handkerchief as the stream of blood increased. Allison stared at the boy helplessly, unsure of how to respond - if she even could with the lump that was rising in her throat.

Fortunately, she was saved from answering. "Perhaps I can be of assistance," Solas said kindly. Allison's stomach tried to swallow itself. _Of course he would have noticed Cole and I disappeared._ She knew the elf a bit better than the others, since he and Tahni were practically attached at the hip. Allison supposed it was inevitable that Solas would have discovered her plight at some point. _And then Tahni will find out and that'll be the end of my helping the Inquisition. They can't afford weak allies._ She only hoped that wouldn't ruin the alliance Sebastian had secured for Starkhaven.

Solas held his hand before her and cast a healing spell of his own. Almost immediately, Allison felt the flow of blood slow and stop. She gave him a muffled thanks through her handkerchief. Allison almost dropped what was left of her ice as she tried to simultaneously clean her face and keep it hidden.

"Is everything all right?" Her heart sank as Tahni joined them. The younger elf glanced from Solas to Allison with a worried expression. "Are you hurt?"

"Just my pride," Allison muttered. "This is, unfortunately, normal."

Tahni's eyes widened as a look of understanding crept across her face. "Oh! So Varric _didn't_ make up the part about the nosebleeds!"

_She already knew?_ Allison gawked at the Inquisitor. "You've read Varric's book?"

Tahni frowned slightly. "We _do_ have books among the Dalish."

"That's not what I meant!" Allison cringed internally. _Way to think before you speak, **Champion**._ "I'm just surprised you had that book."

"The Keeper didn't know I traded for it," Tahni said with a grin. "At least it wasn't _Hard in Hightown_ , right?"

A quiet cough from Solas interrupted the flow of the conversation. "Perhaps we should return to the task at hand." He inclined his head toward Stroud and Blackwall, who had continued on ahead without noticing that most of the party had stopped.

Tahni threw Solas a sheepish grin. Allison hid a smile of her own behind her handkerchief before putting it away. She'd looked at Sebastian like that more times than she could count and received that same bemused, tolerant expression in return. "Right then," Tahni said. "Are you going to be okay, Allison?"

Allison nodded. "I'm used to it."

"Do not worry about overexerting yourself, Champion," Solas added. "The Inquisitor and I can protect you while you regain your strength."

_So he **did** see I couldn't heal._ It had been a long time since a healing mage had looked after her. At least Solas wasn't biting her head off for it - not that Anders hadn't had good reasons for doing that. Allison buried the memory deep. "Thank you - again," she finally managed to say. "I'll just rely on my staff for a little while. I should be able to cast again soon, so long as I don't need to heal at all."

"Don't worry," Tahni assured her, patting the pack of healing grenades at her hip. "Solas and I have healing covered."

"Good." The tension finally went out of Allison's chest. She really wasn't getting written off as a liability after all. "Then let's get out of the Fade before something else goes wrong."

Tahni nodded and slipped her unmarked hand into Solas's before setting off after the pair of Wardens.

Allison felt Cole hovering over her right shoulder. He hadn't been wrong about anything he'd said. Even if Varric hadn't made the most embarrassing part of her existence public knowledge, she was tired of hiding. "Thank you, Cole."

"You are welcome." The spirit smiled shyly at her before adding "You are you. You should like who you are."

"I do," she assured him. "Really." Allison was surprised to realize that she wasn't just saying it - it was true. How did Cole know just what to say to her to get her to see that? He was nothing like Justice - Justice had no subtlety.

"You're happier now!" Cole said with pure joy.

"I am." Allison grinned at the spirit's infectious enthusiasm.

And with that, they turned and hurried after the others.


End file.
